Thursday, June 14, 2007

Horror Movies

Is it me, or does every new horror movie start with a "detour"?

It used to be you'd watch a movie and think, "what the fuck is this bitch running UPstairs for? I'm glad she's going to die!"

Now you think, "why the fuck did these kids decide to take a "shortcut" on the way to Spring Break? I'm glad they're going to die!"

I just watched 2001 Maniacs, a pretty lame horror movie for many reasons. One is that the villian was Robert Englund (the guy who played Freddy Kreuger), but he wasn't a monster, he was a redneck, meaning he kind of had to act, or try. The second, was that the main characters didn't know they were in a horror movie until the last 20 minutes, so all it was basically kids dying about 20 minutes apart, then...

The lamest fucking ending. The last two kids get away then bam! For some reason there is a wire going across the highway and decapitates them while they were on a motorcycle. Just because, nobody can live in a horror movie.

So lame.

Speaking of which, saw a commercial for "Hell's Kitchen" and never has a cook scared anybody. Even when I worked for a restaurant where the owner cooked, he didn't scare me. What the hell is the allure of that show. The guy is yelling at people who could kick his ass (including the 86 lbs girls) and for what? Nobody is going to care who the winner is?

They're both pretty lame, not sure which one is the winner though.